


place them in a box until a quieter time

by ace8013



Series: little ants are marching [4]
Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Marching Band, Angst, Cancer, Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Grief/Mourning, Homos, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Cancer, Slow Dancing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:13:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26617996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ace8013/pseuds/ace8013
Summary: “You- you weren’t supposed to like me back.” He whines.Sammy laughs a little. “Sorry, I- Then why did you tell me you liked me? That’s generally the outcome you hope for,” He snarks.orthe beginning of the end.
Relationships: Sammy Stevens & Jack Wright, Sammy Stevens & Jack Wright & Lily Wright, Sammy Stevens & Lily Wright, Sammy Stevens/Jack Wright
Series: little ants are marching [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1919404
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	place them in a box until a quieter time

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kickedshins](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kickedshins/gifts).



> HI THIS A SERIES PART PLS READ THE OTHERS FIRST
> 
> anyways this is hte backstory on sammy and jacks relationship, and how jack died
> 
> PLS READ THE TAGS this fic deals w death and cancer
> 
> IM SO SORRY THEO i gifted u this out of spite bc u hate when i talk abt dead jack. :)

Six months. The words ring in Jack’s ears. The doctor kept talking after that, telling his mom about treatments and procedures, what their _options_ are. All Jack can hear is those words, over and over again, and all he can see is Lily’s wide eyes fill with tears. He wants to get up, walk over and hug her, but his arms and legs feel like deadweight.

-

“We don’t think you should do band this year, baby.” His mom says gently, one morning when they’ve sat him down at the kitchen table. Lily’s across the room, drying dishes. If she’s setting them down on the countertop a little too aggressively, Jack’s parents don’t notice.

“But I want to,” He whispers.

“Son, we know you want to, but it’s really best if-” His father starts.

“If you take away something that makes me happy? I’m dying, Dad. I-” Jack’s voice started to crack. “I want to do band.” He lets his eyes fall to his lap. 

“Jack, baby, you’re going to be in a lot of pain. I just don’t know if you’ll be able to carry those drums.” His mom reached across the table to squeeze his hand.

“I’m sure the directors could work something out, Mom.” Lily butts in, eyes fixed on the plate she was holding.

“Lily-”

“No! I’m sure if we talked to Mr. V he could work something out! Jack could stay in the pit and not march! Anything! They love Jack, they’d love to help.” Lily turns, setting the plate down, hard.

Their mother turned to meet Jack’s eyes again, and he nodded, before sending his sister an appreciative look.

“Fine. I'll- I’ll email Mr. V. We just. We just want you to be happy, _and safe,_ Jack.” She squeezes his hand one more time before standing from the table.

“Can Sammy come over today?” Jack asks quietly, before she’s left the room. “I want to tell him.”

His mother gives him a sad look, and just nods.

-

Sammy smiles when he pushes through Jack’s bedroom door, sweaty from the bike ride over, and Jack can’t help but smile right back.

“Hey!” Sammy offers him a fist bump before falling into Jack’s desk chair. Jack wants to hug him. He doesn’t. “How was the hospital? I asked Lily and she ignored me.”

“It was fine,” Jack choked. “I wanted to tell you something.”

“Yeah, you said, on the phone. What’s up, man?” Sammy asked, already unwrapping a piece of candy he found on Jack’s desk.

Jack forces himself to stand, and pushes the door shut. Sammy watched him quietly, face questioning. 

Jack sits back down on his bed, and pulls his knees into his chest. He sighs. “Life is short.”

Sammy nods. “I guess.”

“I don’t want to waste mine.”

“Okay.”

“I- I think I’m in love with you.” Jack breathes out, all at once. “And I get it, you don’t- well. But I had to tell you Sammy, I just, I-”

And all of the sudden the air is being sucked out of his lungs and he can’t feel his arms and legs and _ohmygodamidying?_ And- and Sammy’s _kissing_ him. On _the mouth._ With _his mouth._

And then he’s not. Their foreheads are touching Jack can feel Sammy’s arms wrap around his back and-

“I’m sorry, I just. I think I was gonna die if I didn’t kiss you right now.” Sammy whispers. 

And Jack starts to cry. “You- you weren’t supposed to _like me back._ ” He sobs.

Sammy laughs a little. “Sorry, I- Then why did you tell me you liked me? That’s generally the outcome you hope for,” He snarks.

“Life is so short, Sam.”

“So you’ve said. But,” He pauses and pulls away, still cupping Jack’s face gently, “We’re 15 years old, Jack. Life isn’t _that_ short.”

“It is for me,” Jack whispers. “I’m-I’m sick, Sammy. I’m really sick.”

“What do you mean, sick?” Sammy’s face drops like a stone. “Jack, god, Jack what do you _mean_?”

“I’m gonna die, Sammy.” He chokes. “I’m so sorry. You- you weren’t supposed to _like me back._ We can’t- We shouldn’t. It wouldn’t be fair to you if we started something, and I-” He cuts off, not wanting to finish the thought out loud.

“No.” Sammy says firmly, despite his shaking voice. “I want to love you, Jack Wright. For as long as I can. I can’t lose you, knowing that I could’ve- god, Jack.”

Jack buries his head in Sammy’s shoulder and lets himself be held close.

After a while, without pulling away, Sammy mutters into the fabric of Jack’s hoodie. “We can’t tell anyone. I want to do this, but I- no one can know. It’s not about you, it’s-”

“No, I get it. We shouldn’t tell anyone.” After another few moments of silence, Sammy asks, “Lily?” because Lily was never just _anyone,_ not to either of them.

“Not yet,” Jack murmurs back, “You can just be _mine_ for a little while.”

Sammy sniffs and tightens his grip around Jack’s torso, and, well, Jack thinks he might just hold on to Sammy Stevens forever.

-

Two months later, about a week after Jack’s hair started falling out at such a fast rate that his dad just sat him down and buzzed his head, Sammy showed up at their house.

“Hi,” He smiles when Jack opens the door.

“Hi,” Jack smiles back, it’s reflex at this point, “What’s up?”

Sammy steps inside and pushes his shoes off. “Lily called me.” Sammy peeks around Jack into the kitchen, then presses a kiss to Jack’s cheek. 

“Oh. She didn’t tell me.” Jack pouts. “What did she want?”

“You’ll find out,” Sammy smiles devilishly and pushes past Jack.

By the time Jack makes it upstairs after him, Sammy and Lily are in their upstairs bathroom. Sammy’s sitting up on the counter, tapping his feet against the cabinets, while Lily is trying to figure out how to turn on their dad’s razor. The razor he used to shave off what was left of Jack’s curls last week.

“What are you guys doing?” Jack asks, leaning against the doorway, eyebrows raised.

“What does it _look_ like we’re doing?” Lily mumbles sarcastically. Sammy raises his eyebrows, grinning at Jack.

“Something stupid, as per usual when you two team up. Please tell me you aren’t about to shave Sammy’s head.” 

“I’m about to shave Sammy’s head.”

“Please don’t do that. He needs his beautiful hair.”

“No I don’t,” Sammy scoffed, “Plus we’ll be matching then. And I’m doing Lily next.”

“ _Please_ tell me you aren’t doing this for me.”

“Nope! We just decided to shave our heads together! Because we are friends!” Lily pumps her fist when she manages to turn the razor on. “Got it,” she mutters. 

“Cannot stress enough how bad of an idea this is.” Jack rolls his eyes. Once Sammy and Lily get started there’s no stopping them, and sure enough, 10 minutes later, Sammy’s practically bald and Lily’s well on her way there.

“Mom’s gonna flip, Lil.” He chastises.

“Good!” She smiles smugly, and Jack _can’t help_ but smile back.

-

Maybe the ring was a dumb idea. But hey, Sammy cried when Jack gave it to him, so doesn't that count for something? 

Sammy cried a lot these days. So did Jack.

“A promise ring?” Sammy whispered, rubbing at his eyes.

“Sort of. Promise rings are usually, you know, to promise to wait for someone. But-” Jack sighs. “You know.”

“So what am I promising?”

“To live. Promise me that you'll- that you'll live. And you'll move on and love. And grow up. And do everything you're supposed to do.”

Sammy sucked in a sharp breath.

“Please, Sammy. Promise you'll live?”

The reply is barely audible. “Okay.”

Jack reaches behind Sammy’s neck to hook the chain he's strung the ring on to. Once the ring is resting against his chest, Sammy reaches up to run his fingers over it. Jack's hands fall to rest behind Sammy’s neck and he pulls him in until their lips meet. 

As he breathes Sammy in he thinks that if he has to die he wants to die with Sammy Stevens in his arms. Maybe it's selfish, but isn't Jack allowed to be a little bit?

-

That’s not how it goes, of course.

It really goes like this.

-

A month a half before, Jack’s parents pulled him out of school, to put him in the hospital full time. Jack ignores Sammy’s calls and texts for almost three weeks. Which is when they move him into _hospice._ Jack doesn’t call Sammy. Lily does.

Lily won’t cry when Jack can see her, but her eyes are rimmed with red when she comes to say goodbye to him before school every morning.

-

“I wish I could dance with you,” Jack whispers one night, when Sammy skips the homecoming dance for him.

“It’s okay. I’m not a great dancer anyways,” Sammy responds, rubbing his thumb across Jack’s cheek. “And even if we went to the dance, we wouldn’t have danced together. Not in that way.”

Jack pushes Sammy’s chest away from his. “Help me up,” He murmurs, pushing himself up on his arms from the bed.

“Woah, woah, woah. No way.”

“Help me up, Sammy,”

“This isn’t a good idea,” Sammy grumbled, “You’re gonna hurt yourself.”

“No, I’m not,” Jack murmured, twisting his hands into fists in Sammy’s hoodie to steady himself. “Dance with me?”

“There’s no music,” Sammy laughed.

“Then play some music, Sammy.” Jack smiled into Sammy’s shoulder.

“I don’t want to let go of you.”

“Then don’t. Make up your mind, Stevens.”

Sammy just turned his head and pressed a soft kiss to Jack’s temple. “I love you, Jack Wright.”

“I love you. So fucking much, Sammy.” Jack muttered.

“I wish we could stay like this forever.” 

“Me too,” Jack sighed and picked his head up. “But your mom’s gonna kill you if you get home too late.”

“I don’t care.”

“You should. ‘f you get in trouble she won’t let you come over tomorrow, baby.”

“Why are you always right?”

“Mm. It’s in the name.”

“ _Oh my god._ ”

Jack snorted. “I’m hilarious, aren’t I?”

“You are the _worst_.”

“You love me.”

“Yeah, I do. Stop giggling. You’re- You are delirious, Jack. You’re right! It’s late. Bedtime, okay?” Sammy laughed.

“I love you.”

Sammy just smiled and leaned in, until their lips met. “I love you. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” He kissed Jack’s forehead.

“See you tomorrow, Sammy.”

-

That’s not how it goes, of course. He never sees Sammy Stevens again.

**Author's Note:**

> so so sorry. spologies


End file.
